None of the Above

In the 1985 comedy remake "Brewster's Millions", Richard Pryor plays Monty Brewster, an aging minor league baseball player who inherits $30 million from his uncle.  But a provision of the will allows for Monty to inherit the true value of the estate - some $300 million - provided he spends all of the original $30 million in 30 days.  He can't give any of it away, he can't damage anything, and, perhaps hardest of all, he cannot tell a soul, including best friend (and team catcher) John Candy, why he is engaging in such monetary madness.  At the end of the 30 days, he has to own absolutely nothing but the not-so-proverbial Cubs jersey on his back.  Otherwise, he gets nothing!

It isn't as easy as you might think.  Unaware of the codicil of the will, friends place bets that shockingly pay off or make investments that reap unexpected rewards for Monty, leaving him right back where he started.  Even a satiric run for Mayor of New York City - under the protest banner of "None of the Above" - backfires when Brewster begins leading in the polls and learns that he will earn a salary if he wins.

There was a primary election today.  I didn't vote.  Ordinarily, I would feel guilty about that.  The freedom to vote is one of the tenets of America that makes this country great.  It affords citizens the chance to have their voice heard and to impact who the decision-makers will be - or in the case of a primary, which candidates will face-off against each other come November.  It doesn't feel right to pass up the opportunity to participate in such a truly democratic principle, especially when one sees so many around the globe fighting for that very privilege.

Except today's ballot featured no options for any office in my area.  Everyone was running unopposed in their respective parties.  I didn't understand the logic of that - or the subsequent purpose of holding the primary at all.  PL chimed in - you'll hear alot from her, as do I - PL chimed in that it allowed for the possibility of a write-in candidate.  Okay, I get that.  But what if Mickey Mouse, Lebron James, Carrot Top, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Holden Magroin - all popular write-in names in the past - are having off years?

Few elections are ideal.  I suppose there will always be elections when it seems like you can't find a coherent candidate.  Or when you are regrettably choosing the lesser of two evils.  Or - and I don't abide by this, but I do understand it - when exercising the right NOT to vote sends a message (or intends to) that the potentials aren't up to snuff.

And suddenly, a "None of the Above" ballot doesn't sound so bad.  Where have you gone, Monty Brewster?