I will never forget seeing "Star Wars" for the first time as a 10-year-old. It was such a mesmerizing experience. But I couldn't help thinking, "Hey, except for Vader, all the bad guys have British accents. That's not fair!" Despite all those rumors I'd heard in history class about King George and the redcoats and all that Revolutionary War jazz. So I promptly went home and immediately wrote a letter to George Lucas lambasting him for making all the villains British. What did they ever do to him? How dare he take out his vendetta on us, an unsuspecting audience of children!
I'm joking, of course.
But as I live and breathe, news - if you can call it that - broke this week regarding a Fox News broadcaster's assertion that the makers of the recent "The Muppets" movie were brainwashing children against capitalism because the villain of the kid-flic is an oil tycoon - a successful one, but a dastardly, evil one - going by the preposterous name of Tex Richman. Apparently this is an affront to successful businessmen and capitalism, in general.
I kid you not.
Okay, let's just assume, for giggles, that the filmmakers did have an agenda in foisting such swill upon fragile American children everywhere. You'd think maybe they'd have said oil tycoon - played by Chris Cooper, who looks like he's having fun - appear in the movie for more than just the 10 minutes of screen time he has. I mean, if I learned anything from "The Manchurian Candidate", a good brainwashing takes repeated exposure to the message, and a scary Angela Lansbury, for the message to take root. Ten minutes ain't gonna cut it.
I can honestly say, having seen the film, that my takeaway was not of any message about successful businesses, unless, of course, that successful business is a group of friends (The Muppets) coming together after years apart - can you identify? - to save a beloved relic from their past - the original Muppet Theater. It is a sweet story of friends reunited. Nothing more.
And that's exactly what kids will take away as well. Don't believe me? Go back and rewatch the Star Wars prequels. It's okay, they won't kill you. Rewatch them and tell me there's not even a hint of George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, and Donald Rumsfeld peeking out from the hooded cloak of The Emperor as he maneuvers to push the galaxy to war. It's not overt, but it's there, trust me. Now watch it with a 10-year-old and ask them what they thought. You will hear stories about podracers and the coolness of Darth Maul and his double-bladed lightsaber and maybe how yucky it was that soon-to-be-Darth Vader kissed Padme and she kissed back. And how much they like Jar Jar Binks. Hey, I didn't say they had taste.
But you won't hear any of them say, "You know, dad, I really thought the filmmaker was trying to tell me that America's run-up to the war in Iraq was evil." It's not going to happen. Kids don't think on that level, certainly not when they're trying to enjoy themselves. Children can be perceptive about some things, to be sure, but at that age, they still just want to have fun. They haven't yet learned how to hate and how to be distrustful and how to project their agenda onto others by tearing down the quality and value of something. Most children are positive, by nature. Negativity will come, in time, and not because of any subliminal or hidden messages found in films they love.
I had to laugh when the Fox pundit - and I use that word loosely - wondered when Hollywood was going to make a movie about all the good that oil barons do by providing a product which helps heat homes and things like that. Have they not gone to the movies lately? People won't go see the good films that Hollywood turns out these days; like they're going to see something like that?! Clearly this guy has no idea what goes into creating a successful film.
My advice for people who would sound off against the filmmakers of "The Muppets" and subsequently spoil the innocence of childhood for kids everywhere? Try this: Stop Talking! For Kermit drinks your milkshake!
